THE WAVES OF LOVE
"May you experience the love of Christ,
though it is so great.... you will never fully understand it.
Then you will be filled with the fullness
of the life and power that comes from God"
Ephesians 3:19 (NLT)
So this was God!
He is light.
He knew my name and He knew the secret thoughts of my heart and mind.
I thought, “If this is God then he must also be able to see everything I’ve ever done in my life.”
I felt totally exposed and transparent before God.
You can wear masks before other people, but you can’t wear a mask before God.
I felt ashamed and undone and I thought, “They’ve made a mistake and brought the wrong person up. I shouldn’t be here. I’m not a very good person. I should crawl under some rock or go back into the darkness where I belong.”
As I began to slowly move back towards the tunnel a wave of light emanated forth from God and moved towards me.
My first thought was that this light was going to cast me back into the pit..........but to my amazement a wave of pure unconditional love flowed over me.........It was the last thing I expected.
Instead of judgement I was being washed with pure love.
Pure, unadulterated......clean......uninhibited.... undeserved......love.
It began to fill me up from the inside out, making my hands and body tingle until I staggered.
I thought, “Perhaps God doesn’t know all the things I’ve done wrong,” so I proceeded to tell him about all the disgusting things I’d done..... under the cover of darkness.
But it was as though he’d already forgiven me and the intensity of his love only increased.
(In fact, later God showed me that when I’d asked for forgiveness in the ambulance, it was "then" that he forgave me and washed my spirit clean from evil.)
I found myself beginning to weep uncontrollably as the love became stronger and stronger.
It was so clean and pure, no strings attached.
I hadn't felt loved for years.
The last time I remember being loved, was by my mum and dad when I was at home, but I'd gone out into the big wide world and found out there's not too much love out there.
I'd seen things that I thought were love, but sex wasn't love, it just burnt you up.
Lust was like a raging fire inside you, an uncontrollable desire that burnt you up from the inside out.
Yet.....this love, was healing my heart, and I began to understand that there is incredible hope for mankind in this love. God’s mercy is always extended before his judgement.
To be cont'd.....