Now of course her prayers couldn’t save my soul.......she couldn’t get me to heaven.......
but I knew at that moment.......
that I needed to pray.
Only I didn’t know what to pray..... or who to pray to.
Which god should I pray to?.....Buddha,...... Kali,...... Shiva?
There are thousands of them.
Yet...... I didn't see Buddha or Krishna or some other god or man standing there.......
I saw my mother.......and my mother follows Jesus Christ.
I thought, “I haven't prayed for years.......what should I pray?
What do you pray at this point?
What's the prayer if you're about to die?”
Then I remembered that, as a child my mother taught us the ‘Lord's prayer’.
“Our Father who is in heaven,
holy be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done on earth as it is in heaven....”
I knew it as a child......I used to race my siblings each night to say it the fastest!
That was the only prayer I knew.
I started to pray it......but I couldn't remember it.
It was as though the poison that had rushed to my head had inhibited my thinking ability.
It was closing my mind down......It was terrifying.......
I had relied so much on my mind and my intellect and now suddenly it was dying on me......Mental blank.....zero.
As I was lying there..... I remember my mother saying that "you don’t pray from your head, you pray from your heart."
So, I said “God I want to pray.....help me.”
As I said that, this prayer literally came up from my inner man.....from my spirit.
I prayed, “Forgive us our sins.” Then I went on..... “God, I ask you to forgive my sins, but I have done so many things wrong. I know they're wrong, my conscience tells me they're wrong. If you can forgive me all my sins, and I don't know how you can do it - I've got no idea how you can forgive them - please forgive me of my sins”.
And I meant it.....I wanted to wipe the slate clean, start again. “God forgive me.”
As I prayed that, I got another part of the prayer. “Forgive those who have sinned against you.”
I understood that that meant I had to forgive those who had hurt me.
I thought, “Well I don't hold grudges. There are heaps of people that have ripped me off and back-stabbed me and said bad things against me and done terrible things to me......I forgive them.”
Then I heard the voice of God say, “Will you forgive the Indian that pushed you out of the car and the Chinese men that wouldn't take you to the hospital?”
I thought, “You must be joking! I had other plans for them!”
But no more of the prayer would come. I knew I was in a catch 22 position. I thought, “Okay, I'll forgive them. If you can forgive me, I can forgive them. I will forgive them. I’ll never lay a hand on them.”
The next part of the prayer came to me, “Your will be done.”
I had done my own thing for the last 20 years.
I said, “God, I don't even know what your will is - I know it's not to do evil things, but I've got no idea what your will is. If I come through this, I will find out your will for my life and I'll do it. I'll make a point of following you whole-heartedly if I come through this”.
I didn't understand it at the time, but that was my prayer for salvation.
Not from my head, but from my heart, asking “God forgive me for my wickedness and evil-doing.
God cleanse me.
I forgive all those that have hurt me.
And Jesus Christ, I'll do your will - Your will be done. I will follow you.” I had prayed the sinner’s prayer, the repentant prayer to God, and praying that prayer was pivotal to everything else that happened to me.
An incredible peace came over my heart. It seemed as though fear fell off me, the fear of what was coming.
I was still dying, I knew that, but I was at peace about it.
I'd made my peace with my Maker.
I knew it, I knew for the first time that I'd touched God and I was actually hearing him.
I'd never heard him before but now I was hearing him speaking to me. No one else could have told me the Lord's Prayer.
to be cont'd