Breaking those walls.....

Have you ever had someone in your life that you didn't quite click with?

Someone who is perhaps in your family.......

or within your circle of friends, which life is going to continually keep bringing to you, and things just never really hit it off as you would like.

You both feel awkward, when together, or perhaps there are mixed messages being sent and misunderstood, and no matter how hard you try to explain your intentions....
it just does not seem to work out the way you’d hoped!


So, you think, that, maybe if you just back away from this person......
it would make things better.
Cut off communication all together.....

let them come to you if they want something.

Or....... you do the opposite...... and get right up in their face.....

But still nothing....

still there is this awkward tense feeling between you.......
that seems to be an invisible force field that shuts both of you out.

Perhaps you are really good at explaining to everyone else why things don't work between you and if only they understood you better things would be ok.

Maybe you don't really know why you don't get along......

its not like you have done anything wrong......
its not like you have mistreated them or said hurtful things.....

maybe its just easier if you assume there is something wrong with them and they have a problem with you....
rather then you being able to do anything about it at all!

This situation can drag on for years......
because you are both avoiding each other, and this invisible force field that keeps you apart seems to get stronger as time goes by.

And don't believe for a second it isn't bothering you .....it is!

And don't believe for a second it isn't taking up valuable space in your heart.....it is!

Don't you dare kid yourself that it isn't affecting the other person either......
if you are feeling it.......they are feeling it...... and perhaps even more so then you.

I learned only just recently that I was affecting someone close to me,
and I could easily say "yes" to all of the things above.

I was plodding along in life feeling as though I was doing everything within my power to be the right person in this situation, (as though that meant there was a wrong person.)

We get so caught up being right or being wrong that we forget how to reach out to each other and meet in the middle.

It wasn't enough for me to be able to tick all the boxes towards my right or wrong actions.....

because right or wrong had nothing to do with it.
What finally dawned on me was that by doing nothing......
I was doing something.

Often we sit ourselves in a righteous place and look down at all the things going wrong in our circle of friends or family, and cast that judgement on others, purely because we think that taking ourselves out of the picture....... also takes out the responsibility to be a part of the problem.

Sometimes all we need to do is offer a hand of pure love into the mix.......

something that will encourage a relationship from a place of compassion and a place of friendship without the idea that something needs to be fixed......and this in turn will begin to take down the wall that was created.

I realized this year with someone very close to my heart, that while I was standing back watching a wall being built and taking no responsibility......
that this was the same as handing over the bricks.

Rather then standing there watching the wall go up......
I made a decision to help bring it back down.

Not by way of judgement and not by way of - 'you need my help'
but with a mindset of love and compassion for the person whom I did not
want to shut out of my life.

My life is more enriched by having that one person in it,
then having a wall in my way forever.

Don't think that letting people build up walls for themselves....
doesn't fence you in.
Maybe you are the one who needs to reach out with forgiveness, kindness and compassion.

Remember.....everything starts with a thought......

So choose your thoughts from a loving place!

Holiday seasons are a great time to bring down walls together......

remind yourselves that we are all in this together......

keep your families close to your heart and visualize them with loving kindness and glowing smiles even if there is distance between you.

They will feel it, and you will in turn be bringing down the walls that stop us from loving each other, and you will shorten the distance, not further it!

When I think of my family and friends I always do it with a smile on my face no matter what has happened between us, because I want them
to know that it is all about wishing them love and happiness, not about past differences.... which can't be changed anyway! The past is the past!

Whose day can you brighten today just by smiling for them?

Have a wonderful Christmas weekend in whatever way you celebrate, and make sure you start everyday thinking good thoughts about all those you love for 2012.
Happy thoughts to day my friends, happy smiling thoughts to you all..

Charlie G Hunter

bless you Charlie....
Yaddy